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Boy Moms Come Together to Tell You Why #BlackBoysAreBrilliant

Especially now following the Olympics, #BlackGirlMagic is literally oozing down my timeline. It’s everywhere, everyday, all the time. And it’s NEEDED. It is so important for little girls and even big girls to see that representation and have people remind them constantly that girls and woman that look just like them are doing amazing things everyday. I love it. 

But I’m a boy mom. And I’m always looking for other examples of intelligent and inspiring black boys/men because I think about the examples I want to show my son all the time. It’s hard out here y’all. Is anyone else finding examples that I’m missing? I’m talking about beyond rapping and basketball. Boys aren’t celebrated the same way girls are. And if they are it isn’t nearly on the same scale as girls are. 

RJ is brilliant! At less than two years old he sings his ABCs and dances/sings every time he hears music. He loves to give kisses and “read books” and he can work some electronics better than me! He’s a meanie sometimes, but everyone loves him. He is learning sooooo quickly and I can’t wait to see what types of things he loves to do as he gets older/smarter. 

I asked some of my mommy friends to share why their sons were brilliant. Check out the gallery below to find out why other boy moms agree that #blackboysarebrilliant (and click the pics to check out some other great blogs!).  

Are you a boy mom? Auntie? Sister? Leave a comment below and share why you think #blackboysarebrilliant. Follow me on Instagram, and share a picture using the hashtag #blackboysarebrilliant! The world deserves to know. ;).

August 12, 2016 By
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My Son Was Born Black… And I’m Heartbroken

When I was pregnant I worried about a million different things. I worried about my baby’s health, if I was going to figure out motherhood, if we’d be happy, if I was capable of raising a well adjusted child when I didn’t feel like I had my own ish together. I worried and worried. And he was born. And I began to worry a little bit less.

Minutes old. I love this picture. He's still a screamer. Lol

Minutes old. I love this picture. He’s still a screamer. Lol

But when you’re a mother the worry never truly goes away. He eats, you worry if he’s eating enough. He coughs, you worry about the flu and other illness. He falls, your heart stops every single time. 

I can't find the date (of course) but I'm guessing this is from when he was around 6 months old  

I can’t find the date (of course) but I’m guessing this is from when he was around 6 months old  

All of these worries PALE in comparison to my new found worry. The guilt that I feel today especially for giving birth to my son knowing…. he would be black. My sweet innocent baby is going to have to come face to face with the injustice of our government and on the path we’re on its probably going to be sooner rather than later. 

I asked his father today, while #AltonSterling is fresh on everyone’s mind. “What are we going to do? How are we going to tell our innocent baby about the evils of this world?” He attempted to respond …

“We’ll just tell him the truth. When you go out govern yourself accordingly…..” 

*I cut him off* 

“He doesn’t have to be doing anything wrong… He could just be walking outside”… #TrayvonMartin…. “He could be playing in the park!” #TamirRice

His solution (not a real one LOL)… RJ is never going anywhere lol. When he goes to school he’s going to sleep outside in the car and he’s just never going to go anywhere alone. 

 

In all seriousness though I can’t help but feel a combination of guilt and heartbreak. What do I tell my son the job of the police is? I used to hear “they protect you from the bad guys”, but is a man standing outside of a corner store selling loose cigarettes really a BAD GUY? #EricGarner. Does forgetting to signal and then being frustrated about being disrespected and mistreated when you’re pulled over make you “bad”? #SandraBland

He’ll be dehumanized. They’ll talk about the pack of M&Ms he stole in the fifth grade and the fight he got into with one of his classmates, whether or not they know the full story. It’ll be his fault. The color of his skin automatically makes him a threat. Unapproachable and undeserving of the liberties we fought so hard to supposedly obtain. Thug. Criminal. Aggressive. He’ll be labeled. The saddest part? He doesn’t even have to be an adult anymore. He can be a CHILD. And his life won’t matter. 

 

This is the world I brought my angel into. My little boy who loves to dance, and play. Laugh and run and watch cartoons. Drink juice (nonstop!) and eat pizza. This will one day be his reality. And it breaks my heart. I can’t cry, hope and pray enough. Lord, protect my baby.

 #justiceforall

#BlackLivesMatter

 

July 7, 2016 By
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Weaning Woes Pt. 1 I Just Want My Body Back

Look at the chub! That's probably 90% mommy milk right there!  

Look at the chub! That’s probably 90% mommy milk right there!  

My baby is a big boy. That’s no secret. Everyone comments on how big he is and how tiny I am. I used to love seeing people’s surprised looks when they asked what formula he drank and I could tell them he was breastfed. Yup! That’s ALL ME! *hits dougie*

But …. my baby is a big boy! He’s going on 16 months old and this kid has no desire to give up his milk. Even with eating 3 times a day and snacking we still fight most days to avoid breastfeeding. 

I loved it in the beginning. It was a need no one else could fulfill for him. But he doesn’t necessarily NEED it anymore. I know there are benefits to extended breastfeeding but I’m OVER it. There are also way more benefits to sane mommas… and that matters more. I am at the point where I dread feeding. I literally feel like he’s draining me. He’s already 1/4 of my weight and I’ve got 25 years on him. 

I’m ready to have my body back to myself. And how come no one ever told me about the twiddling?!? Nonstop! He acts like if he doesn’t live with his hand down my shirt.. my boobs may run away and he won’t ever get the milk again. It’s tiring. 

All day. 

All day. 

I’ve read a hundred million weaning techniques but none of them cut it. I feel like I’m going to have to just cut him off. 

Seriously I'm not joking. 

Seriously I’m not joking. 

Lmao his face!  

Lmao his face!  

And let’s not even talk about the toll it’s taking on my wardrobe! The neck of every shirt I own is probably stretched to capacity. He will FIGHT! To get those chubby little fingers in there.  

I love this kid and I love the breastfeeding relationship we’ve had thus far but I’m done. We need a break. I want to be touched a little bit less lol. I just want my body back.  

How long did you breastfeed? What method of weaning worked for you? Is anyone else a slave to their toddler?! LOL   

February 8, 2016 By
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The Ultimate Guide to Halloween Safety for Toddlers/Kids

Halloween is less than two weeks away and that is UNBELIEVABLE to me. I don’t think I mentioned it in my October Goals post but I can’t wait to take RJ out for Halloween. This is his 2nd Halloween but his first “big boy” one and I am super excited to put him in a costume, take him out and take a gazillion pictures of him. With all of that in mind, I have been thinking about ways to keep him safe this year (and years to come) with all the craziness that goes on during the holiday. I don’t want him to be trampled by big kids, or get lost, or anything really because well… NYC. I am a super super cautious parent (read: helicopter mom) and his safety is number one. So I sought out a couple of other mommas to help me compile this list of Halloween safety tips:

 Trick or Treating Safety:

  • Trick or Treat in an area that’s familiar. It will give you one less thing to feel uncomfortable about (i.e. Your neighborhood, a job, only families houses.)
  • Stay indoors with little ones ESPECIALLY if it’s cold outside. Lots of malls/shopping centers participate in the Halloween festivities.
  • Church. I know this isn’t an alternative for everyone but a lot of churches understand that our kids are well…… kids and have activities, candy and a “party” for them where kids can still dress up and have fun.
  • Trick or treat in groups/with other parents. The more eyes to watch the better.
  • WALK on the sidewalk and cross at the corners. Most drivers are mindful because of the amount of kids out, but better safe than sorry!
  • Only visit well lit houses. If the light isnt on, they probably aren’t expecting visitors.
  • Avoid animals you aren’t familiar with.
  • Never ever enter anyone’s home!

Costume Safety:

  • Stay warm! In NYC the weather can be 70 during the day and 40 at night on Halloween so layering is important!
  • Be seen! Wear bright colors during the day and/or utilize glow in the dark options at night (i.e. Glow sticks, mini flashlights,reflective tape)
  • Watch out for Jack-o-Lanterns! (I’ve never even thought of this previously to be honest). Kids costumes are highly flammable so be mindful of any lit jack-o-lanterns or candles.
  • If your child’s mask does not fit, wait until they are at the door to wear it. Wearing it all night obstructs vision and prevents proper ventilation. Face paint is a great hassle-free alternative.
  • Wear comfortable shoes!

Treat/Candy Safety:

  • Do not allow your child to eat any candy without checking it.
  • Unwrapped/tampered with candy and fruit is automatically dumped.
  • Avoid eating homemade treats from strangers.
  • No binge eating! Monitor your child’s candy intake once they are home and everything is inspected.

What is your ULTIMATE Halloween safety tip?  Here’s what a few other mommas had to say…

When my girls were small we would take them only to neighbors homes that we knew and to the mall. There was music and activities and they were able to get candy from store staff who were usually also dressed up. Being here in Maryland the weather can be hit or miss, so being indoors also kept them warm. (Kymberly, Well Fit Curves)

Watching like a hawk at all times. Not letting my two much farther thsn arms length away. (They’re only 3 and 1). Not letting anyone touch them or their hair or costume. Taking all the candy asap once we get home. Doling out only what I approve of in small amounts throughout the following weeks. There will be no candy binging. And teaching my older one not to run off with anyone, even if they know the neighbor.  (Danielle, OKDani)

My sister works at Progressive and that’s the only place we trick or treat…she knows mostly everyone, its a family environment and we go during the day. I still check the candy but in my mind I feel a lot better than going in the neighborhood. And sometimes we go to our church too. But no matter where I am I keep a close eye on my kids. And make sure no one is giving them candy without my knowledge. (Carissa, The Green Eyed Lady)

Staying with your parents is very important, traveling with other parents, wearing bright colors and lights if you are going trick or treating! A good thing that we have done before is celebrate at church, the alternative to Halloween, where children play games, socialize, and pray and all activities take place at church.  (Toiia, Mother of the World)

October 16, 2015 By
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Top 5 Tips on Baby-Proofing for your Crawler/Cruiser

RJ is at the super exciting age where he gets into EH-VER-EEEEE-THANG! I am on the go nonstop trying to keep up with his little butt and make sure that he isn’t getting into anything that will hurt him or me or my sanity LOL. He isn’t quite walking yet but he can crawl between rooms in about 5 seconds and he cruises along the furniture like hes on a mission! I never imagined myself writing a post on baby-proofing but in an effort to help other mamas out I’m going to share what has been working for me at this stage.

1. Cover all outlets and keep cords out of sight! And I literally mean every outlet. Outlets are at perfect eye level for crawlers and there’s nothing more exciting to a baby than the unknown. I didn’t think my son would even acknowledge the outlets but he knows where pretty much every outlet is and his little fingers, toys, tongue are always exploring. If possible keep all cords out of sight as well. Charge your phone on a table or counter top and out of reach for the little grabbers.

2. Lock the cabinets. Because exploring is the theme of this post. Babies are nosier than grandmas (you KNOW your grandma lives in her window, MINE DEFINITELY DOES). I’ve caught him countless times trying to open cabinet doors. Thankfully I haven’t left him long enough to destroy a room but if left with the opportunity, my kitchen would be in disarray from him pulling everything out of the cabinet.

3. Cover all sharp corners. This is mostly for the cruisers. Learning to walk is fun for babies but I swear RJ forgets that he doesn’t have it down pact yet. He frequently just lets go and then hes flailing around when he remembers that he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing. Covering the corners may be more for your own sanity because I swear (even though he can’t reach up there yet) that he’s going to hit his head or face on the corner of a counter or table or something. This tip is great for moms with coffee tables or end tables.

4. Don’t leave anything on the floor. Before baby, we used to leave any change that fell on the floor there (because “money on the floor brings more through the door”). Old sayings aside, did I tell you that RJ is quick? And those little hands are faster! At his age everything goes to the mouth so that leaves NO room for error. Shoes included, put them somewhere out of reach for the little.

5. Sweep/vacuum frequently. And this final one is definitely for your own sanity. With babies being curious they see every doggone speck! I can’t tell you the number of times my heart almost fell out my butt once I saw that hand-to-mouth motion and I thought RJ was putting something dangerous he found on the floor into his mouth and it turned out to be dirt or a piece of hair or something that’s just as equally gross but not life-threatening. I try (and sometimes fail) to sweep everyday because our house traffic is pretty high, and our floors are light colored so it’s easy for him to find little dirt pieces and my heart just cant take it.

What are some ways you babyproof your house? Looking for products to help babyproof? Check out my .

*This post is not sponsored, but does contain an affiliate link*

August 5, 2015 By
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