The Misadventures of the Rocket Ship Car

Thanks to Kia for providing the 2017 Kia Sportage for my family to review. All opinions expressed are my own, all shenanigans are solely RJ and Zayn’s.

When RJ was a baby he HATED car rides. When I say hated I mean I once had to sing the theme song to Little Einsteins over and over for 30 minutes straight while I drove home from a visit to GiGi’s house because that was the only thing that stopped him from screaming bloody murder. I prayed and prayed that Zayn wouldn’t go through that phase but alas, it’s arrived. You’d think that trying out a cute new SUV would make him appreciate our car rides a little more but nah, he’s ungrateful like that (joking! lol). RJ however, enjoyed our time in what he randomly called one day “the Rocket Ship Car” (Little Eintsteins stuck with him) and I like our car rides too until all hell breaks loose.

Don’t let the cute little sleeping face in the carseat fool you…. Zayn definitely has levels to the car ride turn up. A typical ride in the car where he wakes up usually goes something like this……..

*15 minutes into the smooth car ride… sleeping baby starts waking up… quiet grunting.. soft whine.. panic ensues from everyone else in the car on the inside but we can’t let him detect it.. this is LEVEL 1*

Me *In my ever so calm and probably too chipper voice* – “Hey Zayn, we’re almost there man. You were asleep? Everyone’s here with you!”

Zayn’s Inner Monologue – “WTF?! When did we get in here? Why can’t I see my brother? Mommy? Is that you? Where’s daddy??? Panic! PANNNNIIIIIIIC! 

*Crying Starts…. LEVEL 2*

Me – “Hey man! You’re alright! We’re gonna get out soon.” *awkward arm reach to try to put the paci back in and pray it saves us all….. for a compact SUV this car is spacious*

Zayn – “I don’t want it! Stop! Where are you?!” 

*Dodges pacifier… irritation builds…. cries get a little louder… LEVEL 3*

Me – You’re ok man! We’re getting out in 2 minutes! You’re alright! Wanna look out the window?? *tries rolling down window… opens sunroof*

  The panoramic sun roof in the Kia Sportage is AMAZING! RJ loved it and this trick totally worked when he was a baby. This new kid however, doesn't give up so easily. 

The panoramic sun roof in the Kia Sportage is AMAZING! RJ loved it and this trick totally worked when he was a baby. This new kid however, doesn’t give up so easily. 

RJ *screaming from his seat because thats totally helpful* – Zayn! Be Ky-it! Be Ky-it! Be Ky-it! 

Zayn – Oh GOD!!!!!!! Why am I still in here?!?! Why is he yelling at me??? Is that wind??? It’s cold! Help! HEEEELLLLLLLLLP! 

*By now… we’ve reached the final level of turn up… shrieking ensues…. coughs… choking on saliva… the infant pulls out all the stops…. LEVEL 4*

My Inner Monologue (because at this stage trying to console is a moot point) – Oh God…. are we there yet? Why is the light red? Im about to cry too! It’s cool. I got this. Mother Mary, full of grace….. wait I’m not Catholic what am I talking about? Please let’s just get there. 

At this point RJ usually has his fingers stuck in his ears or he’s fallen asleep trying to get his brother to be quiet… Zayn is in the back cursing us all out in full infant and I’m on the verge of my own tears and literally blasting the AC with the cooling seat on as high as possible so I don’t melt away from a panic sweat lmao. 

This phase only lasted a few weeks with RJ so I’m hoping his brother grants us some grace and gets used to being in the car because we go out A LOT. Either way, the Kia Sportage was a great car to deal with some screaming in, RJ liked pushing buttons just as much as he did in the Sorento and I enjoyed the expanded cargo space for my random Target splurge sans children (because every trip to Target results in a random splurge doesn’t it?).

How did your baby like car rides? Any tips or tricks to help us out? Leave some in the comments below!

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